i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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