i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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