I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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