did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize