Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
