people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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