I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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