Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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