No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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