RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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