I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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