I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
