Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize