I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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