I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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