oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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