Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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