he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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