He uses pillows to masturbate.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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