and you said cock pushups were impossible
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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