Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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