It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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