Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
