I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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