He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
