Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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