i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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