I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
We have started to decorate penises.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Randomize
