He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
