I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
