you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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