It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
