Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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