I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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