sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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