$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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