He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
