My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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