ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
