I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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