I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize