She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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