Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize