i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pop tarts are not kleenex
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found the puke drawer
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Randomize