He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
