Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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