im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
