You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
