You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
