hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
