ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
