A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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