I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
