let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
