Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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