i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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