Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm gonna fight the coyote
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
